A goodbye is the birth of a memory.
I think this is true. Each time I say goodbye from somewhere or someone, I make another memory. Not so much of all the good things but also of times that were less… happy.
When I started here at school there were times I didn’t feel in my element and I think that this was a good thing to go through. I still remember it like it was yesterday. But now that I will be leaving as well as so many others before me I
started thinking, what have I seen, what have I learned and most of all; what do I want to remember?
Not just the times I know as good times but also the times which I see as the moments when I tried to reach out, when I tried to find my way and where to fit in. Have I succeeded? I don’t know but I do know that somewhere between the falling and
the getting up again I learned how to fly, so after I was finally able to spread my wings, I didn’t want to go back.
After many times falling down on my face I learned to understand how I was the one who could make or break my own life, that it was me who had the ability to accept others in all their flaws, their mistakes and all their imperfections. After some
time I realized that there is no such thing as perfection, no matter how badly I wanted it. Sometimes you just have to sit back and open up.
This was something that changed my life, it all fell into place and I needed three years for it to happen. Three years of a lifetime which is so short to begin with!
I saw what mistakes I was making and as I admitted to a close friend once, I make those mistakes every day again and again. It seems as if I don’t learn, but I do, I really do.
I learned that there are no limitations to what I can do or what I can achieve. I wanted to dance again, I went back to ballet classes. I felt liberated to take that chance and make that change, no matter how small it was for me. I did it without
looking back. This is the freedom we have.
I proved this while here at school, the very last place I would have expected it to happen. But it did. I saw something in people I hardly was able to see before.
It was trust, it was faith and it was hope. In the past I saw this sometimes briefly but now I know where to look.
So even though this is not my last column, I still want to look back for a moment.What do I want to remember?
Everything. There is nothing I want to forget because forgetting means never being able to go back. And if you can’t go back, I firmly believe that you loose a piece of yourself.
As for now, I say goodbye, to all who were, are and will be.
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